Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
