I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
