So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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