He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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