I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
