covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Randomize
