ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize