Swine flu. Run for my life!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
