THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
