May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
