Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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