Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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