Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
