I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
