is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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