he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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