The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
