No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
