why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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