she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
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