There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize