at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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