how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
