Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
