The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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