And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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