so explain again why im purple
no
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
