Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
