I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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