This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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