the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize