He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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