Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
