i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
