My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
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