We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
