Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
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