reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
