Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
