Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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