time to smoke my breakfast
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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