marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
