he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
