i permit you to call me
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
