I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
