I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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