i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i think my cat just said my name.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
