i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
