The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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