I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
