At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Four minutes until I can fart!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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