I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
