Cold hands, warm shart.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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