note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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