he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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