it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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