Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I think my moral compass just broke
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