Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
