hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
