nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
