So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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