I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
