Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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