I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
