I could have mohawked her pubes.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
