Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
