I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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