Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize