It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
